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Question About Forgiveness
George L. Faull
Dear Brother Faull,
My
friend emailed me today. She claims
that although she has not talked to her dad at all since he walked out on their
family a year ago, that she has forgiven him.
She says it did hurt her emotionally but feels she has been able to move
on. She says the problem that it has
caused for her is in trusting men. She
is afraid to get close to someone for fear of getting hurt. Let me know what you think.
ANSWER:
To
be honest, I have never addressed that aspect of divorce before. The not trusting of one person due to the
sin of another is a hard thing to combat.
It is unreasonable to me.
Because
one dog bites, does not mean all will.
Because one horse throws people off, does not mean they all will. Because one man stops loving his wife does
not mean her husband will.
The
old saying that it is better to have loved and lost is better than never having
loved at all is true. I can personally
testify to that truth. Even though
divorced, I have many wonderful memories of happy days and times. I would not trade those happy 16 years for
these 28 lonely years. I have 5
children because of the happy 16 years.
Those 16 years are still a blessing to me. The pain that I suffered from the divorce is not as great as the
joy that I had in the marriage. There
are no guarantees in life.
Because
some people drown does not keep me from swimming. Because hunters are killed with guns does not keep me from
enjoying hunting with mine. Because
people are killed in wrecks does not keep me from enjoying driving my new
little roadster. Because my wife
stopped loving me did not keep me from rejoicing when my children married. Because there are charlatans who are greedy
preachers does not keep me from enjoying giving to those who are faithful. Because some food spoils does not spoil my
appetite.
If
one is afraid to give love, then love is not genuine. Love is not love until you give it away. If love must be returned forever before one
can give it away one will never find true love. Which is more wonderful to hold a soft cuddly puppy or a hard
shell turtle?
It
is much more wonderful to have a bird that comes and sits on your shoulder than
a bird you have to keep in a cage for fear it will fly away.
We
are much more apt to be truly loved when we are free with our affection and
feelings that when we hold it tightly to our bosom protectively.
Love
is like money. Those who are generous
with money are more apt to receive it from others than those who hoard it
protectively for fear of being suckered.
I
hope she comes to find these things are true in her own life as I have in mine.